I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
