I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
