Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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