I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
