defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
