How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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