Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize