I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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