i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
