yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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