so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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