hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
