How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
