Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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