he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
