just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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