i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
