We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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