im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
