WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Non-Jews are for practice
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
