i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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