If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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