using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I would ride that face into the sunset
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
