It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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