What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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