She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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