Do you still have your period?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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