rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
