College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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