wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Houston, we have a blender
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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