Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
