Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
