the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm determined to sit on that face.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
