A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
