Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
