Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
