is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
