I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
