so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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