This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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