The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
