remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
