Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
