I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
