...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Less talking, more tequila
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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