First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
