I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
that's an acceptable place to lick
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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