It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
