nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize