loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We have started to decorate penises.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
