Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
