new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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