Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
