p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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