Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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