I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
