I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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