I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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