I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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