She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
