like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
