Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he thought i was a dude.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm too high and old for this...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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