Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
