ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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