i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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