I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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