the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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