my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
