I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize