I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
