it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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