I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
