his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
