I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
