My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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