Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
