i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am spending my child support on dildos
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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