Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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