I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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