Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
