I hate your face
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
