Swine flu. Run for my life!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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