Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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