i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
