His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize