Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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