Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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